LOVABLE OR LUSTABLE?

I have a confession, bathing suit season use to be hard for me. People would often be caught off-guard when I would share this because I have a petite figure, but I always felt like I was hugely lacking in the bust size department. I remember skimming through the pages of Seventeen Magazine and I would see these girls with their "perfect" bodies and feel like mine was so inadequate. Horrible thoughts would go through my mind, like:

"Isn't bust size really important to guys? Will they find me attractive?"

"My body is ugly, maybe I need to get plastic surgery?"

I even had a boyfriend once who did not go as far as actually telling me to get plastic surgery, but was never opposed to the idea, and never affirmed me that I did NOT need it. As you can imagine, this made my doubts and insecurities skyrocket. I wanted and was willing to change myself to be whatever was desirable for men.

As my relationship with God developed more and more, I started to look at things from a different perspective (thank God!). I remember reading the Bible verse, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own" (1 Corinthians 6:19), this really challenged the poor image I had of my body. 

Then while I was attending the Theology of the Body Institute, Christopher West said something that spoke right to my heart and the scales were finally removed. He said, "A woman feels like there is something wrong with her if she is not lustable." As soon as he said these words, it struck me like a ton of bricks. This was the lie I was believing. There was nothing wrong with my bust size, it was about something broken within myself that believed the lie of our culture, that believed my body needed to be more lustable.

As women, we desire to be loved, and the thing we should be striving for is to be lovable, not lustable. Many women buy into this "lustable lie." You can clearly see this in the way certain women dress, talk, post pictures of themselves, and dance just to get male attention. But that is just it; they do indeed get attention, but that is all. Their real desire to be loved is NOT found. 

Once I started to look at my body as a sincere gift to my future spouse, and not as a lustable object to be used to get male attention, I discovered my body was beautiful JUST THE WAY IT WAS. Questioning the beauty of your body, is questioning God's design. He does not make mistakes. 

Beauty is not found in a bust size, a number on the scale, or in plastic surgery. It is found in a woman who knows her true beauty and worth in Our Lord, Jesus Christ. Knowing this truth, creates an inner spark that shines the reflection of Christ from you. 

Seek Him. 

Find your inner spark. 

You are Beautiful.  

MR. RIGHT OR MR. WRONG? HOW TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

You are at the beach with some girlfriends, when your Bestie turns to you and says, "Cute boys, 2 o'clock." Your attention is quickly drawn to some very handsome guys playing a volleyball game. You do not want to stare, so you do your best to give some nonchalant glances every once in while. And then it happens, one of them hits the volleyball out of bounds and the ball is rolling your way. This is your chance, your friends give you the nudge. You stir up every ounce of confidence you have and pick up the ball to throw back to them. Then you notice after gracefully throwing the ball back, they are walking towards you! Cue the heart beating out of your chest, and the millions of, "Oh my gosh's" continuing over and over in your head. 

Introductions and conversation starts, the guy you had your eye on, is focusing his attention on you. Suddenly "Mr. Handsome" wants to know if you are free tomorrow night for dinner. You say, "yes" and give him your number. After departing ways, and once they are out of ear shot range, your friends and yourself have a minor freak out session. All of sudden, you start to wonder what you are going to wear, how are you going to do your hair...Ahh! All the big questions, right?? Not quite. 

Don't let this cute guy with his sunkist volleyball bod get the best of you yet. Many times, we get so caught up with dating someone, how cute he is, finally having a boyfriend, even what we are going to wear, and fail to realize that you need to make sure this guy is actually worth your time. Before you are start exchanging your last name with his, make sure he has none of the qualities on the "Dump Him List." 

This list was created by Crystalina Evert, and covers all the qualities that are RED FLAGS. Dating someone who has all or even one of these qualities will lead to a destructive relationship. Don't risk your heart. Don't settle. Don't think you can change him. You are worth more. Please share this list with your friends, and anyone you know in a relationship. Your heart is too precious to be giving pieces of it to Mr. Wrong. Trust me, God's got someone better for you, and if you seek God, He will bring Mr. Right into your life in His perfect timing. 

LOVE STORY OR LUST STORY?

The way in which the world has presented "love stories" to us has changed since I was a little girl. The media's view has changed, but should we change with it?

As a pre-teen, Zach Morris and Kelly Kapowsi was the love story I daydreamed about. I look back at the innocence of that show and I am blown away. The furthest anyone got was a kiss on the lips which was always followed by a "ooOoo" from the audience. As young as middle school, I realized people in relationships were doing a heck of a lot more than just kissing on the lips. All of sudden, I felt this must be what I needed to be doing too. I mean, I wanted guys to like me, right?

STOP! This is where so many girls make mistakes; myself included! We forget we can raise the bar! If you have high standards and respect yourself, the guy interested in you is going to quickly realize he must live up to those standards and respect you. I believe Fulton Sheen said it best,

"To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women."

Sadly, so many women give into the fear that they will be alone unless they lower their standards and give in physically. Today's love stories portrayed on television and movies, should really be called "lust stories." How did "Save by the Bell" and "Hey, Dude" get replaced with "Gossip Girl" and "Vampire Dairies" These shows just continue to normalize "hooking-up." Rarely do they show physical repercussions (i.e. STD's, pregnancy, etc.), and I feel like they NEVER show the emotional repercussions.

God created sex, and it is a beautiful thing. It was created for a man and a woman who made the vows of Holy Matrimony and are committed to one another for life. Sex taken outside of this context, can lead to much heart ache, depression, and disappointment.

If you are in a relationship, see if you and your boyfriend pass the "love story OR lust story" test. I found the information below from a great book called, "Theology of the Body for Teens."

| LOVE VS. LUST |

• Love gives to the other.
• Lust uses the other.
• Love treats another person like a person.
• Lust treats another person like an object.
• Love cannot exist apart from its source, God.
• Lust is a sexual desire apart from the love of God.
• Love is honest and life-giving to all persons involved.
• Lust is devious and ultimately destructive to all persons involved.
• Love seeks to do what is best for the other.
• Lust seeks to please the self.

Holding out for your love story is sooo worth it. Sure, "lust stories" are easy to come by, but you were made for more! Women's heart are seeking true love, not to be used for a man's pleasure. If you are in a lust story, get out! So much more awaits you! Hollywood can have their "lust stories," God has YOUR love story. You may have to be really patient, but TRUST ME, it is worth the wait! I waited 5 single years for mine, and I would wait 5 more in a heartbeat if I needed to. 

MADE IN HIS IMAGE

Being a cradle Catholic, I grew up going to Mass on Sundays, singing in the children's choir, and went to CCD classes. There were some stories in the Bible that were referenced over and over again. One of them is the Creation story in Genesis. You hear it as a child, and throughout your whole life. You most likely can even quote it, "Then God said, 'Let there be light, and there was light" (Genesis 1:3).

There is a BIG detail in the Creation story that I didn't realize until I was in college at a Bible Study. The detail was that ALL creation was brought to life by God's voice... all that is, but MAN. 

Growing up, I was often told, "You are made in the image and likeness of God." I never really understood what that meant. At that time in my life, I pictured God as an old man with a long white beard, resembling the character, Gandalf in Lord of the Rings. I remember thinking, "How am I made in His image? I don't look like that?" 

As I started to go deeper in my faith, I discovered some awesome truths. In Genesis, Chapter 2, verse 7, it says, "The Lord formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breathe of life, and the man became a living being." Then God created Eve from the rib of Adam with His hands. 

God could have simply voiced Man into existence. He could have just said, "Let there be man. Let there be woman." We could have all looked the same, and had the same strengths and weaknesses, however, God decided to use His hands, and His fingerprints are all over us. He created us each individually, with a plan and purpose in mind. He gave us the gifts and talents we each bear for a reason. 

Another important detail that should NOT be ignored, is that God said something after He created each thing. He said, "And it was GOOD." God created you, and it was GOOD.  The Bible did not say, "God created woman and her hips were too big or her nose was weird". In fact, it says quite the opposite, it says, "It was good, it was VERY GOOD." 

When I discovered this truth, I finally stopped comparing myself to others, wishing I had what someone else had been given. I love the quote by Theodore Roosevelt, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Stop the envy and coveting, and embrace the gifts and talents God has given you. God doesn't make mistakes and He doesn't make ugly, so never doubt your gifts and beauty. He made you in His image, and you are complete in HIM. 

P.S. A fabulous resource, is the website Made in His Image. This site is dedicated to inspiring and empowering women to know their dignity and self-worth. It also focuses on healing for women who have been abused, or struggle with eating disorders. I highly recommend checking it out!

A BEAUTY TO BE UNVEILED

Greetings everyone! I am Megan, and I was born and raised in Orange County, CA. In June of 2012 I got to marry the most wonderful man I know, and moved to San Diego, CA.

I am a cradle Catholic. Throughout my childhood and early teen years the extent of my faith was going to church on Sundays and praying before meals. I only turned to God when I wanted something. This became a problem as I entered into middle school and high school. I got very caught up in worldly things that I lost sight who I really was. 

I was very fortunate though to be a part of an incredible youth ministry program. My youth minister had a gift in loving people and seeing others the way Christ does. She saw beyond my sins, she saw beyond my mistakes, she saw my heart and went with that. Through her love I felt the love of God for the first time in my life, and realized God could use me. The more I said "Yes" to God and let go of secular things, I found myself doing the impossible.

One thing in particular was public speaking. I begin speaking to the teens at my parish and then throughout the Diocese. I became very passionate about the topic of chastity and the dignity of women. It amazes me how many women do NOT know their worth.

This blog is to inspire and encourage women of all ages to know who God truly made women to be. We are GOOD enough. Not only are we good enough, but the beauty that we each bear is a true and perfect creation of God. You are A BEAUTY TO BE UNVEILED :)