LOVABLE OR LUSTABLE?

I have a confession, bathing suit season use to be hard for me. People would often be caught off-guard when I would share this because I have a petite figure, but I always felt like I was hugely lacking in the bust size department. I remember skimming through the pages of Seventeen Magazine and I would see these girls with their "perfect" bodies and feel like mine was so inadequate. Horrible thoughts would go through my mind, like:

"Isn't bust size really important to guys? Will they find me attractive?"

"My body is ugly, maybe I need to get plastic surgery?"

I even had a boyfriend once who did not go as far as actually telling me to get plastic surgery, but was never opposed to the idea, and never affirmed me that I did NOT need it. As you can imagine, this made my doubts and insecurities skyrocket. I wanted and was willing to change myself to be whatever was desirable for men.

As my relationship with God developed more and more, I started to look at things from a different perspective (thank God!). I remember reading the Bible verse, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own" (1 Corinthians 6:19), this really challenged the poor image I had of my body. 

Then while I was attending the Theology of the Body Institute, Christopher West said something that spoke right to my heart and the scales were finally removed. He said, "A woman feels like there is something wrong with her if she is not lustable." As soon as he said these words, it struck me like a ton of bricks. This was the lie I was believing. There was nothing wrong with my bust size, it was about something broken within myself that believed the lie of our culture, that believed my body needed to be more lustable.

As women, we desire to be loved, and the thing we should be striving for is to be lovable, not lustable. Many women buy into this "lustable lie." You can clearly see this in the way certain women dress, talk, post pictures of themselves, and dance just to get male attention. But that is just it; they do indeed get attention, but that is all. Their real desire to be loved is NOT found. 

Once I started to look at my body as a sincere gift to my future spouse, and not as a lustable object to be used to get male attention, I discovered my body was beautiful JUST THE WAY IT WAS. Questioning the beauty of your body, is questioning God's design. He does not make mistakes. 

Beauty is not found in a bust size, a number on the scale, or in plastic surgery. It is found in a woman who knows her true beauty and worth in Our Lord, Jesus Christ. Knowing this truth, creates an inner spark that shines the reflection of Christ from you. 

Seek Him. 

Find your inner spark. 

You are Beautiful.  

LOVE STORY OR LUST STORY?

The way in which the world has presented "love stories" to us has changed since I was a little girl. The media's view has changed, but should we change with it?

As a pre-teen, Zach Morris and Kelly Kapowsi was the love story I daydreamed about. I look back at the innocence of that show and I am blown away. The furthest anyone got was a kiss on the lips which was always followed by a "ooOoo" from the audience. As young as middle school, I realized people in relationships were doing a heck of a lot more than just kissing on the lips. All of sudden, I felt this must be what I needed to be doing too. I mean, I wanted guys to like me, right?

STOP! This is where so many girls make mistakes; myself included! We forget we can raise the bar! If you have high standards and respect yourself, the guy interested in you is going to quickly realize he must live up to those standards and respect you. I believe Fulton Sheen said it best,

"To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women."

Sadly, so many women give into the fear that they will be alone unless they lower their standards and give in physically. Today's love stories portrayed on television and movies, should really be called "lust stories." How did "Save by the Bell" and "Hey, Dude" get replaced with "Gossip Girl" and "Vampire Dairies" These shows just continue to normalize "hooking-up." Rarely do they show physical repercussions (i.e. STD's, pregnancy, etc.), and I feel like they NEVER show the emotional repercussions.

God created sex, and it is a beautiful thing. It was created for a man and a woman who made the vows of Holy Matrimony and are committed to one another for life. Sex taken outside of this context, can lead to much heart ache, depression, and disappointment.

If you are in a relationship, see if you and your boyfriend pass the "love story OR lust story" test. I found the information below from a great book called, "Theology of the Body for Teens."

| LOVE VS. LUST |

• Love gives to the other.
• Lust uses the other.
• Love treats another person like a person.
• Lust treats another person like an object.
• Love cannot exist apart from its source, God.
• Lust is a sexual desire apart from the love of God.
• Love is honest and life-giving to all persons involved.
• Lust is devious and ultimately destructive to all persons involved.
• Love seeks to do what is best for the other.
• Lust seeks to please the self.

Holding out for your love story is sooo worth it. Sure, "lust stories" are easy to come by, but you were made for more! Women's heart are seeking true love, not to be used for a man's pleasure. If you are in a lust story, get out! So much more awaits you! Hollywood can have their "lust stories," God has YOUR love story. You may have to be really patient, but TRUST ME, it is worth the wait! I waited 5 single years for mine, and I would wait 5 more in a heartbeat if I needed to. 

MADE IN HIS IMAGE

Being a cradle Catholic, I grew up going to Mass on Sundays, singing in the children's choir, and went to CCD classes. There were some stories in the Bible that were referenced over and over again. One of them is the Creation story in Genesis. You hear it as a child, and throughout your whole life. You most likely can even quote it, "Then God said, 'Let there be light, and there was light" (Genesis 1:3).

There is a BIG detail in the Creation story that I didn't realize until I was in college at a Bible Study. The detail was that ALL creation was brought to life by God's voice... all that is, but MAN. 

Growing up, I was often told, "You are made in the image and likeness of God." I never really understood what that meant. At that time in my life, I pictured God as an old man with a long white beard, resembling the character, Gandalf in Lord of the Rings. I remember thinking, "How am I made in His image? I don't look like that?" 

As I started to go deeper in my faith, I discovered some awesome truths. In Genesis, Chapter 2, verse 7, it says, "The Lord formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breathe of life, and the man became a living being." Then God created Eve from the rib of Adam with His hands. 

God could have simply voiced Man into existence. He could have just said, "Let there be man. Let there be woman." We could have all looked the same, and had the same strengths and weaknesses, however, God decided to use His hands, and His fingerprints are all over us. He created us each individually, with a plan and purpose in mind. He gave us the gifts and talents we each bear for a reason. 

Another important detail that should NOT be ignored, is that God said something after He created each thing. He said, "And it was GOOD." God created you, and it was GOOD.  The Bible did not say, "God created woman and her hips were too big or her nose was weird". In fact, it says quite the opposite, it says, "It was good, it was VERY GOOD." 

When I discovered this truth, I finally stopped comparing myself to others, wishing I had what someone else had been given. I love the quote by Theodore Roosevelt, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Stop the envy and coveting, and embrace the gifts and talents God has given you. God doesn't make mistakes and He doesn't make ugly, so never doubt your gifts and beauty. He made you in His image, and you are complete in HIM. 

P.S. A fabulous resource, is the website Made in His Image. This site is dedicated to inspiring and empowering women to know their dignity and self-worth. It also focuses on healing for women who have been abused, or struggle with eating disorders. I highly recommend checking it out!

KNOW THYSELF

As I entered into middle school, high school, and through college, I started to ask myself the BIG questions. 

Who am I?

What do I stand for?

Where am I going?

If you would have asked me if I had the answers to these questions during that time, I would have acted as if I did, however, I had no idea. I was too busy being carbon copies of the people around me. 

The truth was, I did not want to know myself because I believed the lie that so many people do. I believed that if people really knew me, and what I was about, they would not think I was good enough. Instead, I made desperate attempts to be liked by my peers, to be “loved” by guys, and to be a part of the "in crowd."

My faith in high school was not strong, nor was it a priority.  I only prayed to God when I wanted or needed something.  Since I did not know Him, I did not know myself. 

You may ask, "Why is knowing yourself so important?" 

There are six and half billion people on this planet, and not one of them is like you. Even identical twins have a different fingerprint. There is no one else on this earth exactly like you. God created each of us in His image. There is a reason behind every part of you. There is a reason why God did not just make us all the same. You fulfill a place in this world no one else can. How often though, in trying to fit in or to be accepted, do we throw "our image in Him" away and become just like everybody else. 

"Who am I" is a question you will be defining for the rest of you life. Your actions throughout your life will be the answers to that question. 

When you reflect on your life thus far, are you happy with the answers you have made? Where are your answers leading you? 

You have three options:

| 1 | You can allow others to decide where your life path is headed

| 2 | You can decide where your life path is headed

| 3 | You can allow God to to lead you on the life path He created just for you

In my lifetime, I have tried out all three of these options. I strongly encourage you to pick the 3rd option. God has the desires of your heart in mind. He will lead you to the truth. In other words, He will you lead you to Himself. When you are close to Him and know His love, you will discover the fullness of who He created you to be. Unveiling who God created Megan to be, was one the greatest gifts of my life. 

It is my PRAYER, and my HOPE that you will get to

unveil the beauty and fullness of who God created you to be. 

"YES" KIND OF A GIRL, LIKE MARY

We all carry different crosses in our lives. Some crosses we bear stay with us our whole lives, and others come and go through different seasons. All crosses are hard, but some are more bearable than others. The hardest crosses are the ones when you can almost physically feel the weight of the cross by its emotional toll. It causes you to wonder if you can even go on. You start asking yourself, "Why does God trust me so much?"

Then there are those periods of grace, where the crosses we bear seem light, and it is almost as if all the stars align and everything just feels right. 

My life a few weeks ago was experiencing that period of grace. There was so much joy, peace, and answered prayers. Then Casey came home from work one day, and told me he had bad news. We sat down, and all the worst case scenarios danced through my head. Luckily what he shared wasn't any of those, but he did tell me we have to move out of our condo. Our Landlord needs to move back in. I hate moving... Plus I am so sad to leave "our first home." This is the place were the Orillion family officially began. 

San Diego as a whole, still doesn't really feel like home, but where we lived was one of the few things that did. I know it sounds like some sob story, but we are limited in our time of finding a new place and the house hunt has been exhausting. I feel like my anxiety is raising, and I am not in control... (right where God wants me)

One of my weaknesses is I like to have control. Giving God control of my life is not an easy task. It requires a lot of trust. When I look at my life thus far though, God has always come through and blessed me abundantly in every situation I have ever given Him. So why is so hard to let go some times and give Him the reins? 

God has a plan for us, and that plan includes a home. 

Monday was the Feast day of the Annunciation of Our Lord. At Mass I started reflecting on the Blessed Mother, and her "Yes." She was always faithful, trusting, and obedient to the Father's Will, even in the most uncertain and sorrowful moments. I want that. I came across the prayer above, and I couldn't have said it better myself.

This week may we all strive to be "Yes" kind of girls, like Mary.

Jesus, I trust in You. AMEN.

GIVING OUR WHOLE HEART

Recently, we discussed the Invitation. Not just any invitation, but the invitation God has for each and every one of us to fully let Him into our hearts. This is definitely easier said than done. We often hear God knocking on the door to our hearts, but we are scared to answer it. We believe the lie that if God saw our whole hearts, he wouldn't want it. Our hearts might be filled with wounds, shame, mistakes, and sin. We wonder what God would want with that. As a result, instead of answering the door, we hide from Him. We think we have to be perfect and "put together" before he would want us. God is holy, which is something we feel we are very far from.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the woman at the well. It can be found in the Gospel of John in chapter 4. The woman at the well does not have a good past. She has been married five times and is currently living with a man who is not her husband. Jesus tells this woman everything she has done, but does not judge or condemn her. Instead, he reaches out and restores her.

This story really struck me because it showed me that God already knows all my wounds, shame, mistakes, and sins, but He still knocks patiently at the door to my heart. When I answered the door, he didn't judge or condemn me, but reached out and restored me.

God is holy, BUT God is LOVE. Do not hide from Him because all you are doing is hiding from the only love that truly satisfies. He desires to have your whole heart, not just the nice parts of your heart, but the ugly and wounded parts as well. Once you take that first step of opening the door of your heart to Him, challenge yourself to let Him into ALL parts of your heart. God is also healer, and he is the only one who can bring the light to the darkest places of ourselves.

WASHING OF THE FEET

Yesterday evening, Casey and I went to the evening Mass of the Last Supper. It was a beautiful night of reflection and prayer. Traditionally, this Mass includes a washing of the feet ceremony. Each parish has a unique way of performing this ritual. Some parishes wash the feet of their church staff, and others wash the feet of random volunteers. As I watched this part of the Mass, and pictured Jesus washing the feet of the disciples, it struck me that I needed to participate in this. We are called to LIVE OUT THE GOSPELS in our lives, so I leaned over to Casey and whispered in his ear, "I'm going to wash your feet when we get home." He looked at me a little surprised, but then gave me that smile and squeeze that translates into, "my wife is cute."

After Mass we spent some time in Adoration then headed home. Once we arrived home I gathered the supplies. I got a bowl, a towel, and a pitcher of warm water. I am an ambiance person, so I lit some candles, turned off the lights, and had some our favorite Christian songs playing in the background. We did an opening prayer, and then we washed each other's feet. While we washed each other's feet, we apologized for any wrongdoings we had done to the other. To say it was powerful, would be an understatement. I highly recommend this prayer experience to anyone. 

Washing another's feet takes much humility and vulnerability. Humility, in the sense that you have to get on your knees before them to do it, and vulnerability in allowing someone to wash you and be in your personal space. 

Last night, the Last Supper came to life a little bit more to me than it ever has. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, spent his last night on Earth showing us that we are called to serve with humility and vulnerability. Today we walk through His sorrowful passion, and then we wait.... we will be waiting patiently and prayerfully for Easter morning... 

LIVING OUT {HOLY WEEK}

Do you feel like you blinked, and now Holy Week is here? Where has Lent gone? Don't get me wrong, there were definitely weeks when my craving for chocolate and metabolizing vast amounts of sugar made Easter Sunday feel sooooo far away, but somehow I feel like Holy Week always creeps up on me. When I reach this point in Lent, I have to ask myself the hard questions: Am I different from 40 days earlier? Do I feel closer to Christ after keeping my Lenten promise? Is my heart prepared to enter into the Holy Triduum?

Holy Week is the most important week in our Church, and I feel like it is important that we make an effort to make it very different from the other 51 weeks in the year. During this week, we have the opportunity to walk alongside Jesus through his journey. Beginning at the Last Supper through His walk to Calvary leading to His death, and ending with His glorious Resurrection.

Below are 5 tips to make your Holy Week more meaningful:

| Prayer |

-Turn off the music in your car on the way to work/school and start your drive with a prayer

-On your way home from work/school, stop at a Church for 5 or 10 minutes and spend some quiet time with God.

-Pray the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary

-Read the Passion of Jesus in the Gospels

| Make Additional Sacrifices |

-Add something to your Lenten promise to make this week stand out

-Try to do a random act of kindness each day this week 

| Turn off the Television |

-Casey & I will be turning off the TV from Holy Thursday evening until Easter morning. We will spend this time instead attending the Holy Triduum liturgies or in personal prayer.

| Confession |

-Want to attend Easter Sunday with a pure heart? Our church has the beautiful sacrament of reconciliation where God's love and mercy awaits you. What are you waiting for?

| Forgive |

-One of the most profound things Jesus said on the cross was, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34) Each time we pray the "Our Father" we say, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." If we want/expect/ hope for God's forgiveness of our sins, we must give that same gift to others who have wronged us. Who do you need to forgive?

Don't let this week be just like the rest. Make it different! I'll be praying for you!

THE INVITATION

First and foremost, if we are to even have a glimpse of how much we are truly worth, we must have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. As I mentioned in an earlier post, growing up God was a part of my life, but in a very minimal way. He was present at Mass on Sundays, quick graces before meals, and always when I needed something. The list of needs included-disagreements with friends, boy drama, and requests for superficial things I thought I had to have at the time. When I was in a bad spot in life I would often wonder, "Where is God?" or "If God is so good why is He allowing this to happen to me?" Looking back now I clearly see that I was not making any room in my heart to allow God to do anything in my life. For God to move in our lives, we must surrender. God does have a plan for each and every one of our lives, but God is a gentleman. He will never force His plan on us. He gave us free will. We get to choose.

When I had my conversion my senior year of high school and finally started to choose God over my wants, my life totally transformed. For the first time in my life I figured out who I was and what I was about. I no longer was just following the crowd, but following God and I found my purpose. It was such a freeing experience. So many people falsely believe that following God is limiting them in their happiness, and it is just a bunch of rules to follow. When in reality when I was following what I thought I wanted and needed, I felt in chains. The biggest thing that I received when I started to choose Christ, that I never had before, was peace. I had the peace of knowing that I was never alone. I still had hard times and difficult decisions, but I had the peace of knowing that God was with me. Before my conversion I always felt restless. I was always searching for something more because I was never satisfied. Little did I know that something more was God, and that he was there all along. It was just up to me to let him in.

God cannot open the door to your heart. Only you can allow him in. You can choose to do it now... or wait, but know He will always be there waiting. Waiting to show you His plans for you, to walk the journey with you, and carry you when you feel like you can't go on. It is the most beautiful invitation you will receive in your whole life. What are you waiting for?