DEAR MEGAN...

{DISCLAIMER}: A lovely woman wrote me seeking some advice. I asked her permission to share her question with all of you, and leave her anonymous. She gladly complied. I hope that any other women who struggle with this same kind of insecurity will know that they are not alone. If you also have a question, please feel free to email me at megan.purityofheart@gmail.com. 

Hey Megan,

I have been struggling with my self image for years. I can't help but feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. I feel like no one will be able to handle my personality. I feel like, if I am called to marriage, he's going to wake up one day and think, "I did NOT sign up for this" and leave me. I just don't think that anyone will ever actually want to be with me forever. I am focusing on improving my relationship with God, but I still feel like I'm going to be alone forever. Even when I'm not focusing on dating or finding someone, it's still in the back of my mind. I know I'm not desperate or I would have already thrown myself at someone, but I still have lots of doubts about me.  

Sincerely,

Lonely and Insecure

~Dear Lonely and Insecure,

First and foremost, please know that you are not alone. 

I think most women struggle in some way of thinking that they are either "too much" or "not enough." We have internal battles thinking we are not pretty enough, not smart enough, or we are too needy or too sensitive. These thoughts transfer over and affect our self-worth and relationships. 

When I was single and waiting for the person God created for me, there were many moments when I would be sad, frustrated, or angry. I often wondered that if I were "better" or "different" than I would of found love. It is easy in those broken moments to believe the lies that due to our shortcomings, we are left unsought. 

According the book, "Captivating" (which I highly recommend reading) women's number one fear is abandonment or being alone. I truly believe the Devil plays on women with this fear. God would never place these feeling on your heart. Take a look at Psalms: "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." –Psalms 139: 13-14

You are fearfully and wonderfully made! You are definitely on the right track by focusing on your relationship with God. Continue to seek him and give him permission to write your love story, become fully satisfied with His love first. Then when you least expect it, and in His perfect timing, He will bring a man into your life who will love every part of you. 

I am not perfect, my husband is not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. We love each other completely and unconditionally despite our shortcomings. You and your future husband will be perfect for one another. HE WILL LOVE ALL OF YOU! If he doesn't, he is not the one. 

 I cannot express how thankful I am that I waited, that I didn't settle, and that I didn't believe the lies that I wasn't enough or too much. I will never forget when someone told me, "Find your delight in the LORD who will give you your heart's desire."-Psalms 37:4 If you heart's desire is to get married one day, God will honor the desires of your heart. Know that! Focus on that! And whenever you start to doubt and feel those fears of being alone or being "too much" coming back REMEMBER how CHRIST views you: "You are beautiful in every way, my friend, there is no flaw in you!"- Song of Songs 4:7

Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. I will be praying for you!