We all carry different crosses in our lives. Some crosses we bear stay with us our whole lives, and others come and go through different seasons. All crosses are hard, but some are more bearable than others. The hardest crosses are the ones when you can almost physically feel the weight of the cross by its emotional toll. It causes you to wonder if you can even go on. You start asking yourself, "Why does God trust me so much?"
Then there are those periods of grace, where the crosses we bear seem light, and it is almost as if all the stars align and everything just feels right.
My life a few weeks ago was experiencing that period of grace. There was so much joy, peace, and answered prayers. Then Casey came home from work one day, and told me he had bad news. We sat down, and all the worst case scenarios danced through my head. Luckily what he shared wasn't any of those, but he did tell me we have to move out of our condo. Our Landlord needs to move back in. I hate moving... Plus I am so sad to leave "our first home." This is the place were the Orillion family officially began.
San Diego as a whole, still doesn't really feel like home, but where we lived was one of the few things that did. I know it sounds like some sob story, but we are limited in our time of finding a new place and the house hunt has been exhausting. I feel like my anxiety is raising, and I am not in control... (right where God wants me)
One of my weaknesses is I like to have control. Giving God control of my life is not an easy task. It requires a lot of trust. When I look at my life thus far though, God has always come through and blessed me abundantly in every situation I have ever given Him. So why is so hard to let go some times and give Him the reins?
God has a plan for us, and that plan includes a home.
Monday was the Feast day of the Annunciation of Our Lord. At Mass I started reflecting on the Blessed Mother, and her "Yes." She was always faithful, trusting, and obedient to the Father's Will, even in the most uncertain and sorrowful moments. I want that. I came across the prayer above, and I couldn't have said it better myself.
This week may we all strive to be "Yes" kind of girls, like Mary.